As I lie awake in my bedroom surrounded by nothing but blankets and
the cold brisk night time air, I pondered about the root of my
depression. For someone as unhappy as me you'd think it'd be pretty
easy to figure out but it's not that simple. I wonder what the problem
could be? Maybe it's my lack of a girlfriend? I'm currently interested
in this girl but I'm not too sure if she feels the same way about me
and I refuse to date her and potentially ruin our already strong
friendship. Earlier today I believe the beginning of the end of my
life occurred. For some odd reason I just completely lost it. This new
feeling went through my body and I stared at the clouds and I heard
God laughing. It's almost like he's telling me to give up and at this
point I'm almost ready too. What's the point of climbing the stairway
to heaven when you can just take the slide to hell? It's really hard
to keep pushing on when you're alone. I've lost 2 of my closest
friends over the weekend and I hung out with another a few days ago.
As much fun as I had hanging out with him and his family I still just
felt so mentally and emotionally isolated. It's a shame that nobody
how many people I surround myself with I'm just so alone. Maybe I was
meant to never prosper in life and be condemned to a lifetime of
unhappiness and false hopes. The only other person I can see being
hurt by this situation is my mother. I know she wants me to be happy
but I just don't know how I can be at this point. I need to rediscover
myself and figure out what my true calling in life will be.
"nice guys finish last, but some of the best men have too much pride
to race"-anonymous
New Music: vØHn x Lupe Fiasco - "Hyperdrive"
7 years ago
