Best weekend ever

Just basically that. So wild.

Black Hole

Why can't I ever be accepted for who I am? Why does everybody think I'm pretending to be something I'm not? Maybe this is the plan God had for me? There isn't a single human being on this plan who can understand my thoughts....I always have this internal feeling of being completely. alone. I feel myself slowly sinking deeper into this mental quicksand and falling into my depression more. It seems like no matter what happens I can never be truly happy. I hate myself so much but I'm forced to live with myself because I have no other friends. I'm my own best friend and worst enemy. In the words of Lupe Fiasco "my greatest enemy is my inner-me". I just hate how everybody is supposed to fit this "mold" and if you don't fit this mold you're deemed a failure and outcast. All my life I was treated differently because I wasn't like anyone else. No matter what I just didn't fit in. I use music as a way to cope with the hatred I have for myself because it gives me a feeling of mental relaxation. How could one person hate himself so much to the point where he would prefer being dead than alive. Its a sad feeling but its very real and its kinda easy convincing yourself that you're better off dead. There's been several instances when I've tried killing myself because I had no where else to go. And its been getting worst lately I can mentally picture myself fading away like sand into an ocean. This isn't a suicide letter but more of an apology to everyone I've let down. I know you're worried for my well being but don't be because I'm okay. I just wish there was someone who I could talk to and be truthful with. Maybe one day I'll meet somebody who understands me and if you can't respect that you're whole perspective is wack, maybe you'll love me when I fade to black.

I quit school and its not because I'm lazy

I'm just not the social type and campus life is crazy